FDIC is the guarantor of emotional intelligence for an organization. It helps you address and navigate emotional challenges and evaluate your progress as an organization.
During Coronavirus we binge-watched Scorpion. The storyline is built around a team of geniuses who solve large-scale threats while struggling with healthy interpersonal relationships.
The plots are ridiculous – you repeatedly suspend disbelief as they hang from helicopters, fall from space, sink in quicksand while they save one another and the world.
Why did we keep watching? Because we enjoyed the character development. Walter, the leader of Scorpion, struggled with EQ or Emotional Intelligence.
When Dealing With Emotional Intelligence Sometimes Right Isn’t Enough.
You must persuade people to do what is right. Leaders and managers face the tension between what is true and what is effective daily. You need to be right and persuasive, not merely right.
Therefore, I introduce you to FDIC.
This is not the organization that insures your bank accounts, but an acronym for addressing interpersonal challenges and expressing EQ.
When you develop or change behaviors in yourself or others, the FDIC helps you evaluate your progress.
How often does this behavior happen? If it is a negative behavior, you look for frequency to decrease over time. If an employee is sarcastic during meetings and is pushing other team members away, then you need to coach this employee that sarcasm is rarely the appropriate response in a professional setting.
The Frequency Of Behavior Related To Emotional Intelligence
It is unlikely that someone who has spent years honing his art of sarcastic wit will be able to turn off this spigot on the spot. More likely the frequency of sarcasm will drop with repeated encouragement and drawing his attention to the behavior when it emerges instinctually.
For positive behaviors you are often seeking the increase in frequency. Following a checklist for a repeated process may be tedious, but when your team members do this with increasing frequency the number of errors plummet.
Those demonstrating emotional intelligence will exhibit behaviors with the appropriate frequency.
The Duration Of Behavior Related To Emotional Intelligence
How long does the incident last? Can team members have productive healthy conflict to resolve issues without it becoming personal? Many people say they can do this, but they are still drawn in personally and feel attacked or diminished.
Can they abandon this defensive posture quickly or do they get stuck there, unable to hear the issue that is actually the focus of the conversation? Do they continue to freeze out their colleague over the subsequent days and weeks?
Of course, there are behaviors you want to last indefinitely. Commitment to the team should not wax and wane, but should remain consistent or grow over an extended period.
Duration is a reliable indicator of emotional intelligence. Someone who holds a grudge for months or years is not sufficiently mature.
The Intensity Of Behavior Related To Emotional Intelligence
How quickly does a team member ramp up emotionally? Do they turn it up to 11 when 7 would be more than sufficient? How intense is the exchange?
Some people react quickly but are able to harness their emotions rather than allowing them to gallop out of control, trampling everyone around them.
Some personality styles can react with intensity because they are attempting to persuade, others because they feel that values or relationships are being threatened.
Intensity or passion is desirable at times, but can be inappropriate when the reaction is more than is called for and becomes threatening or repulses others rather than drawing them in. You want people who can be intense, passionate at the appropriate times.
Being emotionally flat can be an inappropriate lack of intensity. Some personality styles need to express their strong emotions by naming them because they tend to appear disinterested in most situations.
“I’m so excited” even if said with little emotion is better than not letting people in at all so that they are left to wonder if you care. Intensity needs to be calibrated to the topic and audience. Ability to calibrate intensity effectively is a sign of emotional intelligence.
The Context Of Behavior Related To Emotional Intelligence
Frequency, duration, and intensity are each part of the equation. Understanding the context is also essential. I’ve alluded to context in describing each of the other three, but it is its own element that needs to be considered.
Can you read the environment around you to know the appropriate mix of frequency, duration, and intensity that will produce the desired outcome?
When your boss conducts a regularly scheduled performance review, it is probably not the context for airing your grievances with the organization and leadership. Sometimes it feels good to be completely honest but rarely is that the appropriate strategy, regardless of context.
Coaching team members to read contexts is a skill essential to professional success. It is part of emotional intelligence because it reflects a judgment about what is wise rather than what is convenient or emotionally satisfying.
Summarizing The FDIC
Put these four elements together and you will demonstrate emotional intelligence. This isn’t the stuff of genius, but of ordinary human beings. You may not save the world but perhaps become more persuasive, more productive, and more relationally effective. For most of us, that is enough.
About:
Dr. Stephen Julian is President of Julian Consulting, a firm specializing in team health, effective communication, and leadership development. He has worked with leaders and their teams for nearly 30 years in a variety of settings – including Africa, South and Central America.
The big idea behind a Biblical worldview. Okay, actually, the Bible presents many big ideas. But here are three foundational to the Christian faith.
The Big Idea Behind A Biblical Worldview. Authority of scripture.
The Bible teaches that God is perfect, all powerful, all knowing and everywhere at once. Concepts that are impossible for my mind to grasp. But the big idea I can grasp is that God is the ultimate authority.
Furthermore, the Bible insists the scriptures are His authoritative word. His absolute truth. That’s why Christ-followers read, study and quote the Bible. It provides practical guidance and insightful instructions to follow.
Not because God is a control freak. But because scripture tells us how to live in community and get along with one another.
So we submit first to God’s ultimate authority and then to civil government that is granted authority by God. And we can resist civil authority only when it abuses its power and violates God’s ultimate authority.
And since God’s word is absolute truth, we can’t just arbitrarily reject the parts we don’t like. Toss out what doesn’t fit into our personal worldview. Because God’s word, like God is unchanging.
But here’s the problem. Modern society and its ideas do change. And are now changing rapidly. That’s why the Biblical worldview and modern culture worldview are clashing. And the sound is growing louder.
The Big Idea Behind A Biblical Worldview Includes Sanctity
Sanctity begins with a sense of reverence. First, reverence for a Holy God. The creator and sustainer of life.
God ascribes value to every human life. From within the womb to the end of life.
And because He does, we should too. Value it. Protect it. And work to promote human flourishing around the world.
But sanctity extends beyond the physical world to the spiritual form of holiness.
For many, holiness conjures up images of self-righteous people preaching hellfire and brimstone.
But the idea behind holiness is to be set apart. Not pretentious perfection. As if Christ-followers are morally superior. Rather, it’s understanding that in striving to imitate Jesus, your life should resemble his. Not perfectly, but in a recognizable form.
The Big Idea Behind A Biblical Worldview Includes Discipleship
In simple terms, a disciple is a follower. Someone who accepts the teaching of a spiritual leader and commits to following them.
Biblical discipleship is a proactive walk of faith. It recognizes that Christ-followers are transformed by the Spirit of Christ. But it is an ongoing process of spiritual development. One where no one arrives in this life. But complete the journey when we meet him in person.
In a Biblical worldview, Jesus Christ is the leader we follow. Who expects his followers to obey his teachings.
Discipleship is a voluntary commitment. And yet it is demanding. Unyielding in its standards. And one that Jesus warned, would have a cost. Doesn’t sound all that inviting does it?
And yet it is a source of earthly joy, purpose, meaning and hope towards an eternal life. And that’s actually pretty cool sounding.
About Chip Tudor:
Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview.This blog is originally published here.
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“Sleeping at last” – a phrase that applies in different ways to babies, young adults, and aging parents. I trust you find it meaningful in your current life stage and the ones to come.
Sleeping At Last Related to Babies
My wife Judy mentors young moms. And one of the consistent challenges are babies without sleep schedules or with schedules unaligned with family function. I still remember the first nights we allowed our son to cry himself to sleep. We were challenged that growing babies have expanding lung capacity and letting them cry themselves to sleep will only take longer and be louder the more we waited.
We were assured this would not damage our child’s health or psyche. Now that he is a young adult, I’m happy to report that if he is in therapy one day, crying himself to sleep will not be the focus of those sessions. You have to find your way as parents and you may prefer a different route to the one we traveled. I’m good with that. Just know that I celebrate with you when your child is sleeping at last.
Sleeping At Last Related to Young Adults
I’ve talked about our young adults’ interest in Enneagram – a personality assessment and framework. My initial resistance to Enneagram was reduced, in large measure, by my exposure to the work of Ryan O’Neal who writes, records, and produces as “Atlas.” O’Neal wrote nine songs, one for each of the Enneagram styles and he has a podcast, “Sleeping at Last,” where he describes the creation of each song.
Encouraging Parents
I encourage parents to find a personality assessment that helps you understand your child’s bent. And raise your child with that bent in mind. I’m still learning Enneagram, but I’m thankful for the additional insights it provides into the lives of our young adult children. “Sleeping at Last” is a wonderful resource. Our daughter-in-law is an Enneagram Nine. And I still cry when I hear her song because I see her (as well as our three children by birth) becoming who she is and is meant to be.
Sleeping At Last Related To Aging Parents
Each year, I write a family letter and send it to a broad range of friends and relatives. This past year’s letter has still not been sent. It began as follows: Some years this letter is easy to write, others it is more of a challenge. This year is a bit of both.
We had a great year as a family but are struggling with new realities as my mom had a stroke on Dec 15. Today, on Dec 21, she began her life in heaven. We were encouraged by her confident faith and knowledge she was ready to shed this body for an eternal one.
Shared Experiences
A week before her stroke, a client shared that his mother-in-law suffered a massive stroke. I listened, prayed for him and his family, and genuinely cared. But about 10 days later I had an entirely different appreciation for what he is facing. Empathy is like that. We borrow from other life experiences to feel with those who are going through events we’ve never experienced. Then as we move through our own events, the closer those two become (the event in the life of the other and the event in our own life) the deeper the empathy we can share.
The mom I knew is sleeping at last. But the woman she truly is lives in an unending, pain-free reality where she has/is becoming the person she was created to be. That is our faith and our encouragement. I miss Mom and celebrate the woman who allowed me to cry as needed, encouraged me to understand my wiring, my bent, my personality. She will greet me again one day when this body is sleeping at last.
About:
Dr. Stephen Julian is President of Julian Consulting, a firm specializing in team health, effective communication, and leadership development. He has worked with leaders and their teams for nearly 30 years in a variety of settings – including Africa, South and Central America.
The Bible speaks about finding your why. That search for meaning. A sense of purpose. Your mission or calling.
It’s a journey that is essentially, a spiritual experience. And open to all who follow its instructions. Here are three Biblical approaches for finding yours.
The Bible’s Approach To Finding Your Why Has An Eternal Perspective
The Bible teaches that life does not end on earth but stretches into eternity. Heaven and Hell are real places and everyone makes a personal choice that determines their destination.
Although when your worldview ends with this life, then everything in this life increases in importance. And is further complicated by the urgency to accomplish it all in a lifetime compressed into years.
Like your collection of achievements and rewards. The search for meaning and significance. The scramble to check off your bucket list.
But when your mindset extends into a blissful eternity, the pressure is off. Because your sense of ongoing development, purpose and fulfillment continue.
And it’s okay if you don’t get it all together in this life. Because you have eternity to figure it out. In a quality of life that is new and improved.
And this anticipation fuels your endurance on earth. And inspires you with hope.
The Bible’s Approach To Finding Your Why Looks Outward Rather Than Inward
Modern culture encourages you to look within yourself. Get in touch with your feelings. Find your inner strength. Claim what you deserve.
However, the Bible teaches the exact opposite. To look outward rather than inward. Find strength from God, not yourself. Give rather than receive.
It’s radical, contradictory teaching that makes you wonder if Jesus was even sane. He even had the audacity to demand complete allegiance to his teachings.
And claim only those prepared to lose themselves would find themselves. Crazy ideas. Preposterous principles.
And even more bizarre? Still gaining millions of followers for over 2,000 years.
The Bible’s Approach To Finding Your Why Finds It Within God’s Greater Plan
Jesus made it clear that his why was not to establish his own agenda. But to follow the will of his Father.
And while the Bible says he had divine rights, he gave them up to follow his Father’s plan.
A mission not of his choosing. But of sacrifice. Of submission. To save the world.
Submission is practically unheard of today. We prefer to celebrate…even demand our individual rights. And yet, Jesus claimed that path leads to bondage, but his way sets you free.
And so, by imitating him. By submitting to God and seeking His will. You will discover the Biblical path to finding your why.
It’s a radical approach. A narrow road. Simple, but not easy. Yet, leads to spiritual life that is amazing. Spectacular. And eternal.
About Chip Tudor:
Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview.This blog is originally published here.
Looking for a Bible Study for yourself or small group??
It’s hard for many people to make sense of Biblical redemption. The idea of redemption seems strange. Redeemed? From what?
So here are three understandings to help you make sense of redemption from a Biblical perspective.
To Make Sense of Biblical Redemption You Must Understand The World Is Broken
Wow! News flash, right? Like you can’t figure that out yourself?
Countries fighting. Political parties fighting. Deadly diseases. Name calling. Finger pointing. Road rage. And everywhere you look, people are uptight, fearful and disconnected.
Yep. The world is broken. People are broken. You and I are broken.
The Bible says that sin causes the brokenness. We’re all guilty of it. And there’s nothing any of us can do to fix it.
The good news is…God could and did.
To Make Sense Of Biblical Redemption You Must Understand It Has A Cost
God fixed the problem with sin. And He offers salvation as a free gift. But it cost something. I’m sure you understand that. Nothing is ever completely free. Somehow…some way…someone picks up the tab.
And in the case of Biblical redemption, it’s God’s Son, Jesus Christ.
Why Jesus?
Because the penalty for sin is spiritual death. Which is separation from God. And since God’s standard is perfection, the sacrifice must be perfect. And Jesus Christ–the only one to live a perfect life–is the only one who qualifies.
You Must Understand That Biblical Redemption Involves A Transaction
So to make sense of Biblical redemption you must understand the general meaning of redemption. It is the payment that secures a release.
For example, when you shop with a product coupon, the store cashier takes the coupon in exchange for the product. In other words, The cashier redeems the coupon.
And Biblical redemption works the same way. Jesus Christ sacrificed himself…died in my place…to redeem me. And you too.
At the same time, many people believe in Jesus. That he’s the Son of God. And he died for our sins. But belief alone is not enough.
You must complete a spiritual transaction.
Isn’t that how you redeem a coupon? You don’t tell the cashier, “I believe I can redeem this coupon for that product, but I’m keeping it instead.”
No, in order to receive the product you must make a transaction. Exchange the coupon for the product.
Biblical redemption requires the same thing. Thus, you make a transaction with Jesus. Receive his gift. And commit to following him.
That’s when you are redeemed. And your life changes forever.
About Chip Tudor:
Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview.This blog is originally published here.
Looking for a Bible Study for yourself or small group??
There’s a song that speaks about life’s ups and downs.
I get nervous when I’m happyI get nervous cause what comes up must come down (“Nervous” by X Ambassadors)
A client shared the story of a professor he had while studying at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management. The professor talked about the seasons and cycles of life. And how to manage life’s ups and downs.
His challenge to the students about life’s ups and downs
When you are in the ups, don’t live in fear of the down times to come, but use the ups to prepare for the downs.
My childhood in a minister’s home exposed me to the stories and principles of scripture.
Joseph comes to mind. He interpreted Pharaoh’s dream of the skinny cows swallowing up the fat cows as seven years of plenty to be followed by seven years of famine.
Pharaoh asked, “What should we do in preparation for the seven lean years?” Joseph told him to gather excess grain during the years of plenty to distribute during the lean years. Pharaoh saw the wisdom in this suggestion and put Joseph in charge of the project.
A quick aside about life’s ups and downs
Sometimes sharing wisdom leads to responsibility and authority to bring that wisdom to reality. Just keep that in mind as you prepare to speak. I didn’t see Coronavirus coming and my 2020 plans didn’t account for a global pandemic. Evidently this is true of my clients as well.
But some of my clients had used their years of plenty to prepare for lean years they knew would come. In prosperity, they were preparing for unknown challenges they knew were coming.
Other clients have been casting about to come up with plans to meet the evolving challenge they now face. Both will survive, but those who were preparing are thriving in spite of the body blows they have taken along with the rest of the world’s economy.
I’m not sure where you find yourself, but it is not too late to apply this wisdom to your present as well as to your future. The ups will be followed by downs. We know this. Just make sure that next time you are up you are preparing for the downs, not living in fear, but in anticipation.
My Challenge To Clients
I’ve been challenging clients to celebrate during this pandemic, not a celebration of denial, but a celebration of recognition. So many clients are making good decisions, wise decisions that will prepare them for the future.
My point…
These good decisions don’t just happen.
This isn’t luck. This is the result of effective leadership, healthy cultures, and determined preparation. Many businesses that were counting on luck are no longer operating. The fact that yours persists is not an accident, and is worth celebrating. Don’t allow happiness to make you nervous. “What goes up must come down” is a truism. How we manage those ups and downs is what matters.
About:
Dr. Stephen Julian is President of Julian Consulting, a firm specializing in team health, effective communication, and leadership development. He has worked with leaders and their teams for nearly 30 years in a variety of settings – including Africa, South and Central America.
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