Whacha Gonna Do?

Whacha Gonna Do?

Theme: Christianity is a choice that every individual makes. (Joshua 1:9)

Length: 3-4 minutes

5 Clowns

There is no particular setting for this skit. Along with clown costumes, you will need two road signs: NARROW and WIDE. Near the NARROW sign you should tape a crosswalk on the floor. You’ll also need a pocket size cross that’s big enough to be visible to the audience.

When the clowns come to a fork in the road on a journey towards eternal bliss, they must determine which way to go. Exaggerated pointing accompanies the question: Is it this way or that way? And the final answer is of course—the one with the cross walk.

Slobber, Goober, and Rufus ENTER, walking in single file. Slobber stops abruptly, turns, and signals for the others to stop.

Slobber: Whoa!

Goober halts, but Rufus isn’t paying attention. He crashes into Goober who crashes into Slobber and they all crash to the floor.

Slobber: (Complains as he gets up) I said, Whoa.

Rufus:(scratches head puzzled) Oh.

Goober: Where are we going, anyway?

Slobber: I told you, we’re on a journey toward eternal bliss. But we’ve got a problem. There’s a fork in the road.

Goober and Rufus both examine the ground carefully around the signs.

Rufus: I don’t see a fork. (He brightens and pulls a spoon out of his pocket) But I do have a spoon.

Slobber: Not that kind of fork. The kind of fork where the road splits and goes in two different directions. Now we have to make a decision. Do we go this way (exaggerated point in each direction) or do we go that way?

Tithe You Later

Tithe You Later

Theme: Refusing to tithe is stealing from God

Length: 4-5 minutes

2 males, 3 females

A department store with 3 racks of clothing. You’ll also need name brand shopping bags and one very ugly type of garment.

Three teenagers shop while nearby, a security agent tries to catch a shoplifter. The kids discuss tithing versus not tithing and one teen is self-righteous when the shoplifter is caught. But in a twist, her own hypocrisy in stealing from God is exposed.

(MIKE enters and approaches Alice who is shopping.)

Mike: Hi Alice. Finding any bargains?

Alice: There are no bargains in a store like this, Mike. It’s all about image.

(Mike looks at a price tag and then holds it to his head like an astrology reader)

Mike: Yes, and the image I see is bankruptcy.

Alice: (Pats him on the shoulder with mocking attitude) Don’t worry. You still have Wal-mart.

Mike: (Jingles coins in his pocket) Which means I also have change.

Alice: Awesome. You can buy a corn dog in their cafeteria.

(They move to the rack following Freda who grabs a garment and thrusts it in her bag)

Alice: Did you see that? She’s stealing!

Alice: (to Freda) Excuse me—

Agent: (stops Alice and shows his badge) Security. I’m all over it. Just act natural.

Alice: But she—

Agent: (with authority) Act natural.

The Workman

The Workman

Theme: Spiritual growth involves regular, personal Bible Study.
Length: 3.5 – 4 minutes
Characters: 2 actors, male or female
Scene/Props: Small work table, tool belt, hammer, saw, tape measure, etc.

This funny man, straight man routine communicates that discipleship involves consistent, personal Bible Study. Melvin, however, approaches it like he is undertaking a woodshop project. We added an element of humor by having the Music Minister play the straight person.

Melvin ENTERS wearing a fully equipped tool belt. He carries a small work bench and a set of blue prints.

Melvin: (singing) Left a good job in the city. Working for the man every night and day…

Minister: Melvin.

(Melvin doesn’t hear. He’s totally into the song.)

Melvin: And I never lost one minute of sleeping worrying about the way things might have been…

Minister: (louder) Melvin.

Melvin: Big wheels keep on turnin, proud Mary keep on burnin. Rollin, rollin, rollin on the—

Minister: (shouting) Melvin!

(Melvin stops and looks at the Music Minister, but just has to finish.) River.

Minister: Melvin, would you mind telling me what you’re doing…besides singing very badly.

Melvin: I’m going to work.

Minister: I can see that. But what are you working on?

Melvin: The Bible. We are at church, you know. (Checks all his equipment) Let’s see. I got my hammer, tape measure, pencil. Am I missing anything?

Minister: How about a Bible?

Melvin: Oh yeah. (Pulls out a pocket New Testament and blows off the dust)

The Private Eye

The Private Eye

Theme: The decisions people make in their sexual lives is a matter of choice. (1 Thess. 4:1-8)

Characters: 1 male and 2 females
Length: 4 – 5 minutes
Set/Props: An office with desk and chair, phone, coat rack, small table and coffee pot, and a client seat.

Synopsis: In this 50’s style, movie classic that features all voice-over narration, a small time private eye is hired by a classy lady who suspects her husband of cheating on her. He muses on the decisions people make and how those choices ruin lives. Then he leaves for the day with his own sweetheart.

(Frank enters with a slow, tired trudge. He’s wears an overcoat, a hat and carries a camera. He pauses to lift his hat with a tired, drawn expression.)

Frank: (voice-over) The name is Merit. Frank Merit. Private Eye.
(SFX: Melancholy music for emphasis)

(Frank slowly removes his coat and hat and hangs them on the rack. Then he looks through the mail on his desk.)

Frank: (voice-over) In my line of work, I’m different things. Part cop… part counselor…part canine. And right now I was dog tired. Of course the job always boils down to the same thing…finding the truth. Unfortunately, it’s often the last thing people want to hear. And delivering bad news is the worst part of the job. That’s when I take on the role of a prophet…sharing revelations.

(Frank pours himself a cup of coffee.)

Frank: (voice-over) It had been another long day in the world of kept secrets. Choking down exhaust fumes while camped out in parking garages, creeping along cold, damp alleys and squatting in hedgerows. Really left me feeling bushed. It was the kind of day that made my head spin, my bones ache, and my stomach knot up like it was full of lead. Or it might have been those five burritos from Taco Bell. On the bright side, I did rescue the widow Smith’s poodle who had accidentally wandered off. The way her face lit up when I handed over little Duchess was the highlight of my day.

(Frank gets out a deck of cards and starts a game of solitaire.)

Frank: I had one more appointment left and a few minutes to unwind so I relaxed with a quiet game. Yeah, I was quite a card shark in my day. But it had been a long time.

(Frank tries to shuffle the cards and they fly everywhere.)

Frank: (voice-over) Too long. (SFX: Knocking on the door) The knock on the door was tentative…almost a question mark. It was a Dame.

The Nicene Creed

The Nicene Creed

Theme: Nicene Creed

Length: 1.5 – 2.5 minutes
Characters: Four different people of any age.
Scene/Props: None

Synopsis: This choral reading is best used as a call to worship.


(Readers position themselves in a line across the platform.)

TOGETHER: We believe in one God, the Father Almighty.

ONE: Maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible.

TOGETHER: We believe in one God, the Father Almighty.

TWO: And in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God.

ONE: Begotten of his Father before all worlds.

TWO: God of God,

THREE: Light of Light.

ONE: Very God of very God.

FOUR: Begotten…not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made.

TWO: Who for us and for our salvation, came down from heaven,

THREE: And was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary,

ONE: And was made man,

FOUR: And was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate,

TOGETHER: He suffered and was buried. (A pause and all bow their heads for a silent moment. Then with increasing enthusiasm.)

TWO: And the third day he rose again according to the Scriptures,