What Men Need and Want…But Can’t or Won’t Say

One day this past February I had finished my morning workout at the gym and was drying off in the locker room after a shower. A group of other men were in various stages of the same process. Everyone was preparing for work. During the winter months, my skin dries out and itches uncomfortably during the day. So the last part of my routine before I finish dressing is to rub moisturizing lotion into the skin all over my body. Otherwise, an hour later, my dry, itchy skin feels like thousands of tiny, prickling needles. I made a casual remark about my winter battle with dry skin, and the need for moisturizer. Several others laughed good-naturedly and chimed in the same was true for them. One guy mentioned a nagging trouble spot.  And suddenly, there was a group epiphany. An instant sense of camaraderie. We all nodded and grinned sheepishly because we shared the same problem. Whether we reached our arms over the shoulder and down, or twisted it around and up underneath, there was an area in the middle of our backs— a 2” diameter circle—that we couldn’t reach. And this one dry spot in the middle of our backs plagued us with an itch all day long. We even joked about seeking scratching posts during the day, like a bear rubbing his back against a tree to relieve the itch. Then we all left for work, having admitted the same condition, having laughed about our ridiculous, individual efforts to solve the problem. And not one of us mentioned the most obvious solution. I’ll dab a little lotion on your dry spot if you dab a little on mine. What is it about us guys anyway? Are we really that self-reliant, that macho or just that stupid? You women reading this…don’t answer. As I reflected about the role of the church…and the purpose of men’s ministry, I wondered. Why do guys need one another? Because we do, right? So what’s the point of engaging beyond Super Bowl Sunday, comparing golf scores and contemplating next year’s draft? And the simple answer hit me like a two by four. It’s to help another guy reach the dry spot in the middle of his back. The truth is, no man has it all together. None of us are completely self-reliant. We all have blind spots…weakness….places we can’t reach by ourselves. We need accountability to stay the course. Support for difficult circumstances.  Insights and advice from others who have navigated the struggles we’re going through. An arm around the shoulder that says, “I’m standing with you.” We all have times when we need and want someone who has our back. And what better place than church? What better community than with men who share your faith? Guys striving to be men of integrity. Who are up for the challenge we face in today’s culture. Of course, we have to first admit we need help.  And possess the courage to exchange a manly touch. About Chip Tudor Chip Tudor is a freelance copywriter, author, playwright and pastor. www.chiptudor.com

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A Reasonable Approach to Christian Faith

A Reasonable Approach to Christian Faith

A reasonable approach to Christian faith. Is the Christian faith the complete opposite of intellectual reason? I don’t think so and here’s why.

A reasonable approach to Christian faith. They are more similar than you think.

Some claim that Christian faith and intellectual reason are mutually exclusive. But I think they actually work together.

Let me explain.

The argument that pits faith against reason generally goes like this: Christian faith is a subjective, religious experience that is based on little or no evidence.

Reason on the other hand, involves facts. And it logically follows the evidence to intelligently reach a conclusion.

In short, faith is subjective and reason is objective.

Now I will be the first to admit that faith is subjective in nature. There’s no getting away from it. But at the same time, an honest discussion of Christian faith must include the OBJECT of its faith—Jesus Christ.

A reasonable approach to Christian faith. Jesus Christ is the object of our faith.

When Christians talk about faith, they talk about faith in Jesus Christ. And Jesus Christ is a historical figure. A real person. The things He said and did are recorded by eye witnesses. So the details around His birth, the miracles He performed, the claims He made, His death by Roman crucifixion, and the disappearance of His body from the grave are all confirmed facts. They are all evidence for you to consider.

It’s where reason comes in.

And there is all kind of literature for you to explore and reason through—Scriptural as well as non-religious, historical documents.

Anyone that is truly committed to intellectual integrity should at least understand what Christianity is about before dismissing it. Why not start with a general overview of its basic beliefs? You’ll find an easy to read explanation of them in the book, Christianity for the Average Joe.

Of course, no matter how convincing or unconvincing you consider the evidence, there won’t be enough proof either way.

You’ll have to make your decision based on faith. And so my definition.

Christian faith is the place you stand between what you know and believe.

There is a lot of information about Christianity for you to explore. A lot of evidence to reason through. But ultimately it comes down to faith. That’s where you’ll have to stand to make your final decision…to believe.

Yes…faith is subjective. And yes…it is an experience. One that leaves you forever changed.

About Chip Tudor:

Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview. This blog is originally published here.

Enjoy Humorous Christian Books?

The whale image used for this blog is a cartoon illustration out of my book Family Stew. Each chapter begins with a professionally drawn, cartoon illustration. It’s a collection of stories from the days of our young family along with summary thoughts from a Christian perspective.

Three Questions to Guard Your Hurtful Words

Three Questions to Guard Your Hurtful Words

Three questions to guard your hurtful words. Because it’s thoughtless speech that’s often the most damaging. You know…the first thing that pops out of your mouth. A quick comeback, a sudden observation, an un-evaluated…uh, evaluation. And impulsively…it’s out there…dangling in the air like a noose beckoning your own neck.

Hurtful words often come to mind glibly, slip by sensible thought unchecked, and bounce off your tongue like flubber gone berserk. And once loose, they wreck irreparable damage within organizations. Because organizations are made up of people. And when you hurt the people, you hurt the organization.

So here are 3 questions to guide your tongue before letting your unfettered thoughts fly.

Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. (ESV, Ecclesiastes 10:12)

Three questions to guard your hurtful words. Is it True?

How often have you repeated something without verifying it? Drawn a false conclusion? Formed a subjective opinion?  And that little tidbit you heard at the water cooler is way too juicy to savor alone. It must be shared. Avoid it like a plague—because that’s exactly what it is for an organization.

Of course it’s easy to repeat something and absolve yourself by saying you’re just passing on what you heard from so and so. And it’s easy to form a judgment based on someone else’s subjective opinion. It’s much harder to set the record straight because that takes time and involves fact checking. But if you don’t know for sure, it’s best to say nothing until you do know for sure. Or simply say, “I’ll get back to you,” or “let me check on that.” And then do.

Three questions to guard your hurtful words. Is it Beneficial?

Okay, so the truth is Donald Trump’s hairdo is an artfully sculpted comb-over. So what’s the point in telling him? He knows it. We know it. If it makes him feel better pretending we don’t know it, let him. It’s not affecting his work and it doesn’t benefit him or us by pointing it out—even though I just did. He’s still rich and hugely successful. All it really does is to make us poor people feel a little better to know that even rich, powerful people are still a little insecure about some things.

And that’s often our motive behind the hurtful things we say. It’s not really about helping that person or supporting the organization. It’s about raising ourselves up by tearing someone else down—and that’s all it does.

So before you press on with your comment, be sure it really does benefit that person or the organization in some way. Because if it doesn’t, you’re better off to bite your tongue…then go vent at home later.

Three questions to guard your hurtful words. Is it Gracious?

So it’s true and communicating it will be beneficial. But it’s still hurtful. Can you be gracious about HOW you communicate it? I know. If it’s someone you dislike…that’s arrogant…who acts like they’re always right…well, it’s hard not to enjoy bringing them down a notch. Just keep in mind that we all make mistakes and we all have our moments of painful correction. So treat others graciously when you have tough words to share and maybe they’ll return the favor when it’s your turn.

Of course there will still be times when you blurt out words and wish you hadn’t. But pausing a moment before commenting to consider if your words are true, beneficial, and gracious will go a long way towards reducing those times and protecting an individual’s self-respect—it might even be yours.

About Chip Tudor:

Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview. This blog is originally published here.

Looking for a Bible Study for yourself or small group??

Check out Philippians Bible Study For Individuals and Groups.

Individual Responsibility: Building Your Part of the Wall

Individual Responsibility: Building Your Part of the Wall

Individual responsibility: Building your part of the wall. We’ve become a nation of bailouts. And it bothers me. Because the willingness to work, accept individual responsibility and take personal initiative is what makes us distinct.

Take that away…expect the government to solve problems…and we become a docile herd of cattle awaiting care. On the up side, the herd offers a care free life. On the down side, it may lead to slaughter. Which means you’re putting your life at steak.

Okay. I admit. The world is full of complex social issues and there is no single answer. But there are answers and perhaps, some of them are straightforward. Here are some thoughts on the story in Nehemiah 3:15-5:13.

Individual responsibility: Building your part of the wall. The story background.

As a nation, the Jews were in exile. The wall around their great city, Jerusalem, had been torn down. A symbol of security and their once, proud heritage…gone.

The Prophet, Nehemiah sought to rally the nation. And he decided to accomplish this by repairing the wall around Jerusalem. A monumental task that would require massive resources, skill, and organization.

But how?

Individual responsibility: Building your part of the wall. When communities work together.

So who is in charge? That’s the first question we ask today. And the answer is usually someone else. Like the government. But that’s not what Nehemiah did. Instead, he encouraged homeowners and people in the neighborhood to take charge of rebuilding the wall section near their home!

But wait, you say. Where’s the government oversight? The professional engineers? Who’s checking the specifications? Handling inspections? And what about the unions?

It was a ridiculous idea even in that day and their enemies living in the surrounding areas laughed at and mocked them. But the Jews ignored it. They formed work groups based on common interests and geography that took responsibility for rebuilding different parts of the wall. And little by little, section by section, neighborhood by neighborhood, the wall went up.

It probably required extensive cooperation between neighbors and within the communities. Materials and supplies were sourced. Measurements between sections matched. Knowledge and tools shared. But each group took responsibility for rebuilding a particular section of the wall. 

Individual responsibility: Building your part of the wall. When you do the work you reap the benefits.

And as progress continued the taunting enemies grew worried. They even considered a military attack to stop the construction. So the Jews buckled on their swords, posted sentries, and kept on working.

Nehemiah 6:15 records: “And the wall was completed in 52 days and the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.”

Okay, so couldn’t take all the credit. Because they were aided by God. And scripture if full of miracles when people exercise faith in God. But when God’s people take individual responsibility and collective action, amazing things can happen.

I think it illustrates an important principle: Great communities, organizations, and nations are not the result of a massive effort from the top down. But a groundswell of personal effort, community support, and enterprise from the bottom up.

Each of us taking individual responsibility for a section of the wall. United as one nation under God.

About Chip Tudor:

Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview. This blog is originally published here.

Enjoy reading Christian fiction?

Check out these two Christian detective novels. Soul Pursuit and Finding Grace.

Christian detective novel

Christian detective novel

Should Writing Guest Blogs Be Part of Your Market Strategy?

A client of mine was recently asked to write a guest article as an expert in her field for an industry blog. The blog has a faithful audience within its niche and since they are potential customers she felt the visibility she would gain from it made it a worthwhile effort in marketing her business. So she asked me to ghost write it for her. I interviewed her and wrote a 500 word article in an area of her expertise. By interviewing her, I was able to use her language and mimic her voice. This is important because sounding different in person from your written voice can hurt credibility. On the surface, the ghost written article addressed a topic of interest to the audience. It provided valuable content that would help them in business. But at the same time it was crafted to subtly position my client as a professional service provider. In essence…a soft, persuasive spin. And the About summarized her qualifications and provided her contact information. I believe the article effectively accomplished both of those goals. And later it made me think. Why don’t more people consider this? Whether you have a blog or don’t, it’s another way to extend your marketing efforts. Through that blog post my client…
  • Established herself as an authority
  • Reached an audience of potential customers
  • Promoted her business at the end
  • Gained free advertising
Not bad from just one article. And if she multiplied them…who knows?  What do you think about guest blogging?

ABOUT CHIP TUDOR

Chip Tudor is a freelance copywriter, published author, playwright and pastor. He publishes drama at www.chiptudor.com, books on Amazon.com, and articles on his blog.

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Funny People at the Health Club

Funny People at the Health Club

Funny people at the health club. They are enjoyable to watch. Sure, I go to the health club primarily to work-out. Exercise. Stay in shape. But that’s boring.

People watching makes it interesting. And funny people make it entertaining. 

Because there’s no better place to people watch than a health club. You see every known Freudian behavior along with many still uncategorized. And it’s hilarious.

Health clubs are laboratories of human behavior. Observation posts if you’re a psychologist, comedian, or copywriter needing a blog post. Had I skipped my work out the other day you’d be looking at white space. I know…you’re thinking…and this is better?

Funny people at the health club include those going nowhere fast

So I’m on the elliptical, listening to my I-pod, chugging along at a consistent pace. At least, I thought so. Then this funny guy with a Type A personality climbs on the machine next to me and kicks immediately into high gear. Call him Get Ahead Harry.

In 10 seconds he’s huffing and puffing and moving at the speed of…okay, it was hard to estimate the speed because the obnoxious huffing and puffing was distracting. But I suddenly worried hilarious Harry might pass me—if that’s possible on a stationary elliptical…with a 15-minute head start.

Now I’m an old jock. Still competitive. Still ego driven. Didn’t appreciate that my work out had turned into a race—especially when I had a comfortable, steady rhythm going to Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head.

It called for an intervention. I looked at Harry and said, “Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?”

He looked at me like I’m the crazy one. Guess I violated the unwritten health club rule that prohibits initiating conversations with a stranger who is exhibiting strange behavior. Or maybe he just thought it was a crazy question.

Hard to know. I was, after all, in a health club. Where the pursuit of physical wellness is a given, but mental stability questionable. Either way I didn’t care.

“Well, pick up the pace so you can you can hurry up and go nowhere,” I suggested.

I guess Harry didn’t hear me, didn’t get the funny, play on words, or just considered me socially reprehensible. He immediately switched to a stationary bike. Watch out Lance Armstrong.

Funny people at the health club include a walking conversationalist

Of course, Harry’s fast and furious pace contrasted the Angelina Jolie look alike on the other side of him. Angie’s graceful strides were slow, measured, and carefully choreographed to maximize her form.

Sweating was absolutely out of the question and even a slight glow was kept at bay with the constant, delicate pat of a towel across her forehead.

Hardly qualified as an actual health club work-out. But funny Angie gets extra credit for the increased oxygen consumption used to chatter on her cell phone most of the time to someone named “Sweetie.”

Pretty sure it wasn’t Brad Pitt. 

Funny people at the health club include heavy heaving

In the back area of the health club, hovering around the free weights was funny Brutus. Serious muscle that flexed frequently in the reflection of the big mirror on the wall. He communicates in guttural language, the primitive nature of brute strength by an accompanying level of noise. Every increase to the stack of weight is announced by level of grunt. The more the weight, the louder the grunt.

However, his breaths with each lift are a finely tuned demonstration of balance and beauty—they’ll knock you sideways and curl your hair. And if that doesn’t gain your attention, after the final, monumental strain, there’s the victorious slam of weights to the rubber matted floor with a ground shattering force that registers on the Richter scale.

Funny people at the health club include not so funny odorific exercising

But the most solitary person in the health club is the guy who ate four burritos for lunch. I’ll call him…Fargo. Probably a wonderful guy…who should improve his diet. I just don’t have the nostrils to get that close and find out.

I’m sure he usually conforms to most social norms. But when you work out and push hard at both ends, something has to give. We all gave him lots of space.

I could go on about other funny characters at the health club. Maybe another time. I cut my work out short this week. Between Brutus and Fargo I only finished three machines.

And wait till I start on the grocery store…

ABOUT CHIP TUDOR

Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview.