Overcoming Porn addiction is a serious problem for Christian men. Studies indicate that 60-70% of men in the evangelical church are addicted. It’s rarely discussed. And the number breaking free is small.
And for Christian men, it gets worse. Because Christian men know that viewing porn is a sin of sexual lust. And Jesus clearly taught that to think about adultery and commit adultery are both sin.
So Christian men who follow Jesus and call him Lord. Desire healthy marriages. Recognize porn as sin. Know it damages their family relationships. But still can’t quit are trapped.
So what do they do?
Hide their porn addiction, maintain a Christian appearance, and suffer with a profoundly deep and secret shame.
I’ve worked with these men for the last 5 years and observed these three keys for conquering porn addiction.
Christian Men Who Overcome Porn Addiction Want To Be Free
This sounds obvious, but it isn’t. Because the journey towards sobriety is a long haul. It requires more than a casual interest. So ask yourself. How much do you really want it?
The men I know celebrating freedom first plunged to the bottom. They cried out in despair, feeling both helpless and hopeless. Alarmed that their most treasured relationships were on the line. They became determined to overcome porn no matter what.
Other men join our groups because their wives threaten them. They attend and participate. Say all the right things. But don’t fully own the problem. Or often even admit it is a problem. They’re just appeasing their wives. And that is not enough.
Only when you’ve reached the bottom, you’re drowning in shame, desperate for freedom and willing to make recovery a priority are you ready to begin. Victory is possible. But it’s a long fought battle.
Christian Men Who Overcome Porn Addiction Approach It As A Moral And Neurological Problem
Porn addiction begins as a moral problem of engaging in lustful, sexual thoughts. So it’s natural to think the solution is a spiritual reversal. Increase how often you read God’s word, pray and confess. Pursue a deeper, spiritual life. And this is all important to the recovery process.
Except porn addiction is both a moral problem and a brain problem.
Because viewing porn over a period of time releases unhealthy surges of dopamine into the brain that alters gene expression and causes physical damage. In fact, brain scans show similarities between a cocaine addict’s brain and a porn addict’s brain.
Fortunately, God formed the brain with plasticity so it can return to normal. Renewing the mind can take 2-3 years, but is possible with perseverance.
Christian Men Who Overcome Porn Bring It Into The Light
Trying to overcome porn addiction by yourself is a long shot. Although Satan will urge you to try. Because he wants you isolated. Hiding in secret. Overwhelmed with shame. And trapped in hopeless bondage.
The men who experience freedom go public. They don’t confess it to everyone. In fact, they don’t always tell their wives until they are on a solid path towards recovery. Confidentiality is crucial for an effective porn addiction, recovery ministry.
But it starts with humility. Admit the problem to yourself. Confess it to God. Then seek the encouragement and support of other men. This is your brotherhood. A community of accountability partners. Who pick you up and watch your back. And with linked arms, you walk in the power of God’s Spirit towards victory.
There is hope. You can overcome porn addiction. When you admit the reality. Confess the sin. And commit to restoration. That’s God’s desire for you too.
A Christian disciple is a follower of Jesus Christ. Someone who embraces His teachings and imitates His life.
But what does that actually look like in today’s world?
Although not a complete list, here are five distinctions in a Christian disciple of Jesus.
A Christian Disciple Pursues a Growing Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ
Discipleship is not static. Accept Jesus Christ as Savior and join the heavenly “in” crowd. Rather, it’s growing and dynamic. And actively pursues an ongoing, deepening relationship with Christ.
A disciple’s life visibly displays the presence of Jesus.
Although they aren’t perfect and still fail sinfully at times. But they press forward through repentance on a spiritual journey of transformation.
They favor relationships over religious practices. And in those relationships, the fruit of God’s Spirit is evident in their lives.
A Christian Disciple is Devoted to Prayer and Studying God’s Word Personally and in Community
A disciple desires to know God, understand His word and enjoys hanging out with His people.
They invest time in prayer, studying God’s Word and building mutually accountable, supportive relationships with other Christ followers. Not have to. Want to.
As a result, disciples grow in personal convictions that govern a Godly life more than religious rules.
A Christian Disciple Regularly Worships with Other Followers of Jesus Christ
Disciples approach worship as a delight, not a duty. A family celebration as children of God.
Because through worship, disciples are spiritually energized as they express praise to God as a community of faith.
For in Christ, disciples find their true identity, purpose and meaning. They acknowledge their human weakness, dependence on God and one another.
And in so doing, form a resilient network through the power of God’s Spirit and a vibrant community of faith.
A Christian Disciple Embraces a Lifestyle of Serving
Jesus personally demonstrated to his disciples what it means to serve by washing their feet during the last supper. And then offered His life as the ultimate sacrifice.
His words and example were consistent. His expectations clear. Jesus calls disciples to serve others. Both individually and corporately as Christ-followers.
Therefore, disciples serve willingly, joyfully and indiscriminately. Without expecting gratitude. As an expression of their love for Christ. Knowing that to serve others is to serve Jesus.
A Christian Disciple Engages in Making Other Disciples
It was Jesus’ last instruction to his disciples—Go and make disciples. In other words, disciples are to engage others in following Jesus. In discipleship.
It’s not an option. It’s a divine mission.
Therefore, disciples make their faith public rather than private. They use their abilities and influence to advance God’s Kingdom.
And they understand that discipleship is a process. Often messy, with everyone on a different journey.
But they invite all to join. And speak into their lives through prayer, encouragement, insights from scripture and personal stories.
Since Christian disciples follow Biblical teachings, they live contrary to modern culture. And yet, paradoxically, by refreshing others, they in turn, are refreshed.
There are visible signs to an uncommon Christian life. Evidence that demonstrates a difference in a good way. Not perfect. But authentic and distinct. Here are just three signs that mark a real follower of Jesus Christ.
AN UNCOMMON CHRISTIAN
LIFE DEMONSTRATES HOLINESS
Stay with me. Biblical holiness is NOT holier than thou. That is actually self-righteousness and was regularly condemned by Jesus as pride in disguise.
In the life of an uncommon Christian, holiness is the pursuit, not the perfection of Godliness. As Paul describes in Philippians 3:12, it’s a goal you consistently strive to attain, but never complete in this life.
What do you mean by holy?
Biblical holiness means to be set apart and dedicated to God. It’s marked more by the desire of your heart than success of your performance. Even so, there is something obviously upright about how an uncommon Christian lives.
Additionally, it’s more than human effort. Scripture teaches that God’s Spirit dwells within and empowers a real follower of Jesus. So an uncommon Christian produces visible, spiritual fruits. (Galatians 5:22-23)
AN UNCOMMON CHRISTIAN
STANDS ON BIBLICAL TRUTH
The Bible claims to be God’s Word and absolute truth. (2
Timothy 3:16-17) It is an either or claim that demands a yes or no conviction.
In a yes response, a real follower of Jesus conforms his/her life to the teachings of scripture and resists fitting it to his/her lifestyle. So there’s an uncompromising, principled quality to an uncommon Christian life.
One that especially stands out in the relative truth, worldview of modern society. Perhaps is even mocked as out of touch with current thought.
AN UNCOMMON CHRISTIAN
MAINTAINS A FORWARD FOCUS
An uncommon Christian has a positive attitude and forward mindset. Because a real follower of Jesus anticipates a secure, heavenly future. Yet, doesn’t disengage from this life.
A real follower of Jesus recognizes the existence of evil without running from it. But rather, ministers through a transforming power that is Christ’s presence in their life. And when followers of Jesus unify as the church, the power is magnified.
Beyond life’s circumstances…
In spite of circumstances, an uncommon Christian possesses the most resilient force on earth…hope! It drives them, defines them and equips them with transcending joy.
Most importantly, an uncommon Christian is product of grace. Not perfectly reflected, but still a glimpse of God’s grace. So a real follower of Jesus shines like a lighthouse in a dark, needy world.
Is your Christian faith fit or flabby? Spiritual health is comparable to physical health. It’s better when you exercise it. Here are three benchmarks to measure your spiritual fitness.
Is your Christian faith fit or flabby? A fit faith makes a commitment to Jesus Christ.
If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (ESV, Matthew 16:24)
Faith, by nature, involves a risk. And exercising Christian faith includes practices and spiritual disciplines that train disciples in righteousness. Similar to the fitness training of athletes pursuing their sport.
And when you commit to following Jesus Christ, you carry a cross that includes adversity. Especially from the secular culture and scoffers who claim Christianity is a crutch for the weak minded. Because while you find purpose and satisfaction in imitating the life of Jesus, obeying his commands, and pursuing holiness, few people will commend you for it. But rather, despise, ridicule, and persecute you.
Furthermore, you relinquish two things the human heart holds dear. Pride and self-reliance. And exercise faith by humbly and confidently moving forward and trusting the God who keeps His promises.
Is Your Christian Faith Fit or Flabby? A fit faith moves from belief to action.
So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. (ESV, James 2:17-18)
Belief in Jesus is where you start. But not where you stay. Because genuine, deeply held belief always moves to action. And actions are what James is talking about. Not that good works save you, but they demonstrate through Godly actions, the salvation you’ve received. A follower of Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord who strives to imitate his life.
This is why regular, spiritual disciplines of Bible study, prayer, worship, and fellowship with other believers are so important. They build God’s truth into your life and equip you to live out your faith.
Is your Christian faith fit or flabby? A fit faith embraces obedience.
The Bible is God’s word for living as a disciple of Jesus. And his followers strive to obey it.
In a day of my rights, my truth, and me, myself and I, obedience is an unpopular aspect of the Christian faith. And for many, an absolute, Christianity deal breaker. But it’s the difference between worshiping the Almighty God and worshiping yourself as a god.
Because the Christian faith acts on God’s truth and seeks His Kingdom. And when you commit to it there are some pretty awesome benefits.
Like as you exercise faith, your capacity for even greater faith increases. You experience more joy and sense of eternal purpose. And you suddenly see and recognize God’s Spirit working in amazing ways.
So if your spiritual life seems dull and powerless. In a spiritual rut rather than a growing relationship. Consider restructuring your sedentary spiritual routine into a Divinely focused, fitness regime.
Chip Tudor is an author, blogger and professional writer. He publishes books, humorous Christian drama, and thought provoking blogs from a Christian worldview.This blog is originally published here.
Looking for a Bible Study for yourself or small group??
Join my list and I'll notify you of new blog posts and send you a monthly newsletter. It features inspirational thoughts, writing tips, and a peek into writing projects. I'll also include my article: Exaggerate to Make Your Presentations Funny. It shows you how to punch up presentations with humor and make them more compelling.
