by Chip Tudor | Feb 16, 2010 | Blog
I voted against allowing casinos into the state in our last election. Why? I don’t see the value of a place where you hand over cash to hold a hand of cards. And playing for double or nothing generally means you’re about to lose your shirt and your pants. Strips away all the excitement. However, a majority of voters in Ohio felt differently and casinos are now in. So I’ve decided to make the best of it and look on the positive side.
First there’s all the additional tax revenue casinos will generate for the state. Considering our state budget problems, I should be thankful for how this extra revenue will benefit Ohio residents. I certainly remember the incredible success of the Ohio Lottery and how much Ohio schools have benefited from the extra revenue it’s generated. Okay, so we’ve had to pass several school levies in Centerville over the last few years and still endured program cuts and increased fees for 2009-2010. No problem. Government sponsored bingo parlors could be the next fix.
Secondly, casinos will create new jobs. No doubt about it. Economic times are tough and the job market is thin. And who couldn’t be thrilled with a job dealing blackjack at 3:00am or wearing a skimpy uniform while serving drinks to bleary-eyed patrons clunking their last bit of change into slot machines? The tips plus the appreciative stares you’re sure to garner will do wonders for building self-esteem.
And don’t forget about the new opportunities for entrepreneurs not directly affiliated with the casino establishments, yet are closely related to their success. Like the chemical euphoria representatives, the short-term relationship service professionals, the quick loan agents, and all their friendly brokers? These and others will provide even more state revenue through income taxes…right?
Therefore, I’ve decided to consider casinos as more than just a cheap thrill for the out of town businessmen and bus loads of senior adults trading up from shuffle board in order to shuffle in to the gaming pit. It’s all just harmless entertainment. Since I couldn’t beat’em, I plan to join’em. And when I visit one of the new casinos in Ohio, I’ll carry a big wad of cash in my back pocket…so I’m ready to bet my bottom dollar.
by Chip Tudor | Jan 7, 2010 | Blog
I find the new Smart car intriguing. By that I mean it is an impressive engineering feat, a welcomed relief in fuel economy, and even cute…in an adorable, dirty diapered, baby sort of way. But don’t ask me to ride in one. I’m intrigued, not suicidal.
First, when I look at it, I have this vague, uncertain feeling it’s only part-way finished. Like right in the middle of assembly, the workers abandoned it for something else.
Factory Worker: Hey, Boss, I have one-third of the car frame complete, but I’m waiting on a shipment of metal to finish the job.
Boss: (inspects the vehicle, rubs his chin thinking, and brightens with an innovative solution) Well, lunch time is in 5 minutes. Slap a back on it and call it done.
Then some creative genius in the advertising department cleverly devises a marketing scheme that panders to a gullible public by dubbing this mighty midget of an automobile with an intelligent name and targeting it to an educated consumer. And at the end of the work day, he’s climbing into a Hummer.
Even if I was convinced this enclosed scooter is totally safe, I’m still not sure I could endure the cramped space. Although on the positive side, the cabin is so snug looking a seat belt is probably optional. The windshield is 12 inches in front of your face and the rear window 3 inches from the back of your head. The only real purpose for even having windows is so everyone else can be entertained by viewing the claustrophobic terror on your face.
I guess the engine is peppy enough to keep up with traffic though. I’m driving down the highway one day at 70 miles an hour in my Nissan Sentra—there’s a good 3 feet on either side of me so I’m feeling pretty secure. As I zip past a long convoy of semi-trucks traveling bumper to bumper, sandwiched between 2 tractor trailers is a guy in one of those little cars. Traveling 70 miles per hour between massive tons of steel with a foot of space on either side. Now I ask you: Is that smart?
by Chip Tudor | Dec 30, 2009 | Blog
A recent article in my local community paper reported that the U.S. Postal Service may close the post office branch conveniently located in our neighborhood. A bummer. I drive past it frequently and often make quick stops to mail letters and buy stamps. I even like the friendly, folksy attitude of the clerks. Well, most of the time.
Recently I was in a bit of a hurry to buy a roll of stamps and although there was only one other person in front of me, we had to wait while the folksy clerk finished a lengthy conversation with the patron at her counter about the brutality of bunions in a job that requires standing. No offense, but can you please take that one outside? See a podiatrist? Get a chair? Really, I just want a roll of stamps!
Still, I’d rather not drive the extra 3 miles to the post office branch on the other side of my community. It’s newer, much more high tech, and very business-like. At least they appear business-like. There’s still always a wait time and it’s never any faster than the folksy branch near my house. So in reality, it’s not anymore efficient. A bad case of Government-itis would be my guess. That’s a simple term for: I have a government job and it will take an act of God and 15 years of legal court battles to fire me. Therefore I have no motivation whatsoever to provide any level of customer service if I don’t want to. And then, it will only be within my union’s stipulated work hours minus my lunch hour along with my morning and afternoon breaks. Furthermore, discussing the intimate details of my health condition with patrons who are total strangers and a captive audience represents another exception to work ethic because it is therapeutic, which is important to my overall level of personal work satisfaction and self-esteem.
So the only real difference between the high tech branch and the folksy branch then is a snobbish attitude. This seems to indicate that a snobbish attitude of superiority among post office branches has no observable impact on Government-itis. Seems to but doesn’t prove. Hmmm. Perhaps time for a million dollar government commissioned study on Government-itis and its relationship to the private sector? That would be an appropriate government solution. So my preferred post office branch is on the chopping block. Why? The U.S. Postal Service plans to close or consolidate 3,300 offices because at the conclusion of its 2009 fiscal year the Postal Service reported a loss of $3.8 billion dollars. And that is due to the fact that the Postal Service receives no tax subsidy to operate, but must fund its operations from the sale of postage, products, and other services it offers.
How terribly unfair to expect the U.S. Postal Service to operate under the same conditions as other delivery services like UPS and FedEx. Of course, both of those companies have fallen on hard times too. FedEx recently reported a profit of only $181 million, or 58 cents a share, for the first quarter of 2009 that ended on Aug. 31. This is down from the $384 million, or $1.23 a share they earned last year. And revenue fell 20 percent to only $8.01 billion. UPS shares a similar fate. While overall revenue for the company was up 7.4% for its third quarter, total operating profit was down 7.0%. On the positive side, all three business segments reported an increase: US Domestic Package’s $7.84 billion was up 3.9%; International Package at $2.95 billion was up 16.6%; and Supply Chain & Freight with $2.32 billion gained 9.0%.
Whew! For a moment I feared these 2 private, international shipping companies might have to close offices too. After all, they share the same handicap as the U.S. Postal Service in not receiving any tax subsidies. Fortunately, it appears they will squeak by after all. And as I reflect on the woes of the United States Postal Service, FedEx and UPS and the impact their financial difficulties will present to me, I find myself asking another important question: Considering the obvious success the government demonstrates in its ability to compete with the private sector, how can we not embrace a government take over on healthcare?
by Chip Tudor | Oct 30, 2009 | Blog
The problem with writing words is that words commit me to nothing. They don’t necessarily communicate my real thoughts, values and beliefs. They don’t always reveal what I consider important. They don’t always represent who I really am.
However, my behavior says a lot about me. If I say I love my wife and kids, but spend very little time with them, do I really love them? Perhaps. Will you believe it? Probably not. Because the evidence doesn’t support my words. What truly matters to me always comes down to actions. It’s the only real measure you have to know what kind of person I am deep down.
I think it gets even more specific. What is important to us can be identified by where we put our time and money. If you really want to know what matters to a person, look at their calendar and check book. So what if I say that I care about the poor. Do I contribute any money to charity? Do I invest my time in any causes that aid the poor? If not, what’s the chance you’ll take my words seriously?
Yes, we all have to earn a living. And as a professional, freelance copywriter, I write words that present clients in a positive light. Actually think I do a fairly decent job of it. Nothing wrong with that as long as we’re not falsely misleading or misrepresenting. I just need to keep in mind that at the end of the day, when the computer monitor is dark and the keyboard is silent, it’s the actions that really matter. That’s what I most want to get right.
ABOUT CHIP TUDOR
Chip Tudor is a freelance copywriter, published author, playwright and pastor. He publishes drama at www.chiptudor.com, books on Amazon.com, and articles on his blog.
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by Chip Tudor | Sep 30, 2009 | Blog
Customer service is important. And in a highly competitive environment characterized by a slow economy, it is paramount to survival. Customers know this and can abuse their power. Tell me what you think about this story:
I was writing website content for a customer. I had already significantly reduced my fee just to land the project and was near the end of it. Up to now, everything had gone fine and the customer was happy with my work. I had written copy about a particular service and the customer wanted to give it a greater presence by highlighting it in a separate page. She asked me to re-interview the subject matter expert in order to create more content for the new page. I did so and in a timely manner. Unfortunately, the subject matter expert did not provide much new information to work with so I had to rework the existing content and do my best to creatively expand the content in order to get a page worth of text.
I submitted it to the client for review and revision, but none came. I waited and followed up, and still, no response. I had finished everything else on the project and was only waiting for this final approval in order to close it out. I sent an e-mail asking if it would be okay to invoice, but still received no reply. I admit, I was growing frustrated. So I finally sent the invoice anyway. That may have been a mistake. Again, I waited and then sent another e-mail asking when I could expect payment. Nothing. So I finally re-sent the invoice, politely asked about payment and copied the e-mail to her boss. That probably was a mistake for sure. But it got a response.
She apologized for not getting back to me, citing vacation and other things that had put her behind. Then said her only issue with the copy I had created for the new page was that it was mostly copy and paste of existing content and did not have much new information. I was therefore to adjust my invoice accordingly and she would process payment.
Well, duh! I’m not Houdini. If my source doesn’t have anything new to add, it’s a bit hard to create copy from thin air. But I never had an opportunity to discuss any of that with her or address the content since she never responded. And what does “adjust my invoice accordingly” mean? I cut it to half of what we had agreed on for that page and re-sent it with an apology and an explanation that I had done the best I could with what I had to work with. I guess it was acceptable. I was paid promptly. Have a similar story or an opinion? Let’s hear it.
by Chip Tudor | Sep 6, 2009 | Blog
Writing comedy church skits was a fulfilling ministry for me. My professional work was freelance copywriting, but I also enjoyed writing skits for my local church in a volunteer capacity.
Writing comedy church skits
Many of the comedy church skits I’ve written were used as part of the church worship service to illustrate or support a particular theme or sermon. But there are also scripts for children’s church and youth events.
There are also several longer comedy dramas written for seasonal church services and events.
Are you looking for a humorous script for your church?
You can purchase the scripts from my website for a nominal, one-time fee.
About Chip Tudor:
