Overcoming Porn Addiction: The Christian Man’s Secret Shame
Overcoming Porn addiction is a serious problem for Christian men. Studies indicate that 60-70% of men in the evangelical church are addicted. It’s rarely discussed. And the number breaking free is small.
And for Christian men, it gets worse. Because Christian men know that viewing porn is a sin of sexual lust. And Jesus clearly taught that to think about adultery and commit adultery are both sin.
So Christian men who follow Jesus and call him Lord. Desire healthy marriages. Recognize porn as sin. Know it damages their family relationships. But still can’t quit are trapped.
So what do they do?
Hide their porn addiction, maintain a Christian appearance, and suffer with a profoundly deep and secret shame.
I’ve worked with these men for the last 5 years and observed these three keys for conquering porn addiction.
Christian Men Who Overcome Porn Addiction Want To Be Free
This sounds obvious, but it isn’t. Because the journey towards sobriety is a long haul. It requires more than a casual interest. So ask yourself. How much do you really want it?
The men I know celebrating freedom first plunged to the bottom. They cried out in despair, feeling both helpless and hopeless. Alarmed that their most treasured relationships were on the line. They became determined to overcome porn no matter what.
Other men join our groups because their wives threaten them. They attend and participate. Say all the right things. But don’t fully own the problem. Or often even admit it is a problem. They’re just appeasing their wives. And that is not enough.
Only when you’ve reached the bottom, you’re drowning in shame, desperate for freedom and willing to make recovery a priority are you ready to begin. Victory is possible. But it’s a long fought battle.
Christian Men Who Overcome Porn Addiction Approach It As A Moral And Neurological Problem
Porn addiction begins as a moral problem of engaging in lustful, sexual thoughts. So it’s natural to think the solution is a spiritual reversal. Increase how often you read God’s word, pray and confess. Pursue a deeper, spiritual life. And this is all important to the recovery process.
Except porn addiction is both a moral problem and a brain problem.
Because viewing porn over a period of time releases unhealthy surges of dopamine into the brain that alters gene expression and causes physical damage. In fact, brain scans show similarities between a cocaine addict’s brain and a porn addict’s brain.
Fortunately, God formed the brain with plasticity so it can return to normal. Renewing the mind can take 2-3 years, but is possible with perseverance.
Christian Men Who Overcome Porn Bring It Into The Light
Trying to overcome porn addiction by yourself is a long shot. Although Satan will urge you to try. Because he wants you isolated. Hiding in secret. Overwhelmed with shame. And trapped in hopeless bondage.
The men who experience freedom go public. They don’t confess it to everyone. In fact, they don’t always tell their wives until they are on a solid path towards recovery. Confidentiality is crucial for an effective porn addiction, recovery ministry.
But it starts with humility. Admit the problem to yourself. Confess it to God. Then seek the encouragement and support of other men. This is your brotherhood. A community of accountability partners. Who pick you up and watch your back. And with linked arms, you walk in the power of God’s Spirit towards victory.
There is hope. You can overcome porn addiction. When you admit the reality. Confess the sin. And commit to restoration. That’s God’s desire for you too.
About Chip Tudor:
Chip Tudor is a freelance copywriter, published author, playwright and pastor. He publishes drama at www.chiptudor.com, books on Amazon.com, and articles on his blog.
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