Chip Tudor’s Blog

People need healthcare. I get that. We’re all concerned about health and wellness and it’s easy to expect the government to help out. Although a solution that adds competing government insurance options to the mix still seems uncertain to me. Like your health insurance carrier up for grabs. That’s how I feel about my health most of the time. So hitching my health insurance plan to a similar feeling doesn’t inspire much confidence.  

And when has the government ever competed successfully against the private sector? Granted, the IRS is very proficient in extracting its deductions. But there are other factors to consider as well. And profound philosophical questions to answer like: Is health insurance an inalienable right for all citizens and illegal aliens? I suspect the debate on this will extend like endless train tracks—on two opposite rails. 

But really, the government with its proven history in streamlined cost-efficiency is going to take over the insurance industry and/or compete against private insurers? I’m sorry but to me that idea is like 2 three legged dogs competing in a sack race—sad, but still amusing. 

So here’s an idea. Let’s take insurance completely out of the equation. In my experience, it’s just trading one problem for another anyway. Thirty minutes after I get home from seeing the doctor for one condition, I develop a migraine filling out insurance forms and an ulcer worrying if the insurance company will pay the bill. Instead, let the government focus on what it’s really good at: Tax and spend.  

In this plan, the government allocates tax money for healthcare into a wellness fund. Let’s call it the Well. When people in the plan receive healthcare treatment, the healthcare providers are paid directly from the Well. Each payment is called a dip and Individual Representative Service agents keep track of the big dippers and the little dippers. When the Well runs dry due to excessive dipping, we’ll call it ill. This will launch a whole new line of greeting cards wishing sick friends no ill-well.  

It’s an all-win solution. People without insurance get healthcare. The government gets to tax and spend. And people with insurance get to wonder why they pay taxes and buy insurance. I only have one nagging question: if I lose my job and apply for COBRA insurance, what kind of coverage can I expect if I’m wrapped up by a python? 

I voted against casinos in the last election. Why? I don’t see the value of a place where you hand over cash to hold a hand of cards. And playing for double or nothing generally means you’re about to lose your shirt and your pants. Strips away all the excitement. However, a majority of voters in Ohio felt differently and casinos are now in. So I’ve decided to make the best of it and look on the positive side. 

First there’s all the additional tax revenue casinos will generate for the state. Considering our state budget problems, I should be thankful for how this extra revenue will benefit Ohio residents. I certainly remember the incredible success of the Ohio Lottery and how much Ohio schools have benefited from the extra revenue it’s generated. Okay, so we’ve had to pass several school levies in Centerville over the last few years and still endured program cuts and increased fees for 2009-2010. No problem. Government sponsored bingo parlors could be the next fix.   

Secondly, casinos will create new jobs. No doubt about it. Economic times are tough and the job market is thin. And who couldn’t be thrilled with a job dealing blackjack at 3:00am or wearing a skimpy uniform while serving drinks to bleary-eyed patrons clunking their last bit of change into slot machines?  The tips plus the appreciative stares you’re sure to garner will do wonders for building self-esteem. 

And don’t forget about the new opportunities for entrepreneurs not directly affiliated with the casino establishments, yet are closely related to their success. Like the chemical euphoria representatives, the short-term relationship service professionals, the quick loan agents, and all their friendly brokers? These and others will provide even more state revenue through income taxes…right? 

Therefore, I’ve decided to consider casinos as more than just a cheap thrill for the out of town businessmen and bus loads of senior adults trading up from shuffle board in order to shuffle in to the gaming pit. It’s all just harmless entertainment.  Since I couldn’t beat’em, I plan to join’em. And when I visit one of the new casinos in Ohio, I’ll carry a big wad of cash in my back pocket…so I’m ready to bet my bottom dollar.

I find the new Smart car intriguing. By that I mean it is an impressive engineering feat, a welcomed relief in fuel economy, and even cute…in an adorable, dirty diapered, baby sort of way. But don’t ask me to ride in one. I’m intrigued, not suicidal. 

First, when I look at it, I have this vague, uncertain feeling it’s only part-way finished. Like right in the middle of assembly, the workers abandoned it for something else.  

Factory Worker: Hey, Boss, I have one-third of the car frame complete, but I’m waiting on a shipment of metal to finish the job.
Boss: (inspects the vehicle, rubs his chin thinking, and brightens with an innovative solution) Well, lunch time is in 5 minutes. Slap a back on it and call it done. 

Then some creative genius in the advertising department cleverly devises a marketing scheme that panders to a gullible public by dubbing this mighty midget of an automobile with an intelligent name and targeting it to an educated consumer. And at the end of the work day, he’s climbing into a Hummer. 

Even if I was convinced this enclosed scooter is totally safe, I’m still not sure I could endure the cramped space. Although on the positive side, the cabin is so snug looking a seat belt is probably optional. The windshield is 12 inches in front of your face and the rear window 3 inches from the back of your head. The only real purpose for even having windows is so everyone else can be entertained by viewing the claustrophobic terror on your face. 

I guess the engine is peppy enough to keep up with traffic though. I’m driving down the highway one day at 70 miles an hour in my Nissan Sentra—there’s a good 3 feet on either side of me so I’m feeling pretty secure. As I zip past a long convoy of semi-trucks traveling bumper to bumper, sandwiched between 2 tractor trailers is a guy in one of those little cars. Traveling 70 miles per hour between massive tons of steel with a foot of space on either side. Now I ask you: Is that smart?

A recent article in my local community paper reported that the U.S. Postal Service may close the post office branch conveniently located in our neighborhood. A bummer. I drive past it frequently and often make quick stops to mail letters and buy stamps. I even like the friendly, folksy attitude of the clerks. Well, most of the time. Recently I was in a bit of a hurry to buy a roll of stamps and although there was only one other person in front of me, we had to wait while the folksy clerk finished a lengthy conversation with the patron at her counter about the brutality of bunions in a job that requires standing. No offense, but can you please take that one outside? See a podiatrist? Get a chair? Really, I just want a roll of stamps!  

Still, I’d rather not drive the extra 3 miles to the post office branch on the other side of my community. It’s newer, much more high tech, and very business-like. At least they appear business-like. There’s still always a wait time and it’s never any faster than the folksy branch near my house. So in reality, it’s not anymore efficient.  

A bad case of Government-itis would be my guess. That’s a simple term for: I have a government job and it will take an act of God and 15 years of legal court battles to fire me. Therefore I have no motivation whatsoever to provide any level of customer service if I don’t want to. And then, it will only be within my union’s stipulated work hours minus my lunch hour along with my morning and afternoon breaks. Furthermore, discussing the intimate details of my health condition with patrons who are total strangers and a captive audience represents another exception to work ethic because it is therapeutic, which is important to my overall level of personal work satisfaction and self-esteem. 

So the only real difference between the high tech branch and the folksy branch then is a snobbish attitude. This seems to indicate that a snobbish attitude of superiority among post office branches has no observable impact on Government-itis. Seems to but doesn’t prove. Hmmm. Perhaps time for a million dollar government commissioned study on Government-itis and its relationship to the private sector? That would be an appropriate government solution.  

So my preferred post office branch is on the chopping block. Why? The U.S. Postal Service plans to close or consolidate 3,300 offices because at the conclusion of its 2009 fiscal year the Postal Service reported a loss of $3.8 billion dollars. And that is due to the fact that the Postal Service receives no tax subsidy to operate, but must fund its operations from the sale of postage, products, and other services it offers. How terribly unfair to expect the U.S. Postal Service to operate under the same conditions as other delivery services like UPS and FedEx. Of course, both of those companies have fallen on hard times too. 

FedEx recently reported a profit of only $181 million, or 58 cents a share, for the first quarter of 2009 that ended on Aug. 31. This is down from the $384 million, or $1.23 a share they earned last year. And revenue fell 20 percent to only $8.01 billion. 

UPS shares a similar fate. While overall revenue for the company was up 7.4% for its third quarter, total operating profit was down 7.0%. On the positive side, all three business segments reported an increase: US Domestic Package’s $7.84 billion was up 3.9%; International Package at $2.95 billion was up 16.6%; and Supply Chain & Freight with $2.32 billion gained 9.0%. 

Whew! For a moment I feared these 2 private, international shipping companies might have to close offices too. After all, they share the same handicap as the U.S. Postal Service in not receiving any tax subsidies. Fortunately, it appears they will squeak by after all.  

And as I reflect on the woes of the United States Postal Service, FedEx and UPS and the impact their financial difficulties will present to me, I find myself asking another important question: Considering the obvious success the government demonstrates in its ability to compete with the private sector, how can we not embrace a government take over on healthcare? 

The problem with writing words is that words commit me to nothing. They don’t necessarily communicate my real thoughts, values and beliefs. They don’t always reveal what I consider important. They don’t always represent who I really am. 

However, my behavior says a lot about me. If I say I love my wife and kids, but spend very little time with them, do I really love them? Perhaps. Will you believe it? Probably not. Because the evidence doesn’t support my words. What truly matters to me always comes down to actions. It’s the only real measure you have to know what kind of person I am deep down. 

I think it gets even more specific. What is important to us can be identified by where we put our time and money. If you really want to know what matters to a person, look at their calendar and check book. So what if I say that I care about the poor. Do I contribute any money to charity? Do I invest my time in any causes that aid the poor? If not, what’s the chance you’ll take my words seriously? 

Yes, we all have to earn a living. And as a professional, freelance copywriter, I write words that present clients in a positive light. Actually think I do a fairly decent job of it. Nothing wrong with that as long as we’re not falsely misleading or misrepresenting. I just need to keep in mind that at the end of the day, when the computer monitor is dark and the keyboard is silent, it’s the actions that really matter. That’s what I most want to get right. 

Customer service is important. And in a highly competitive environment characterized by a slow economy, it is paramount to survival. Customers know this and can abuse their power. Tell me what you think about this story: I was writing website content for a customer. I had already significantly reduced my fee just to land the project and was near the end of it. Up to now, everything had gone fine and the customer was happy with my work. I had written copy about a particular service and the customer wanted to give it a greater presence by highlighting it in a separate page. She asked me to re-interview the subject matter expert in order to create more content for the new page. I did so and in a timely manner. Unfortunately, the subject matter expert did not provide much new information to work with so I had to rework the existing content and do my best to creatively expand the content in order to get a page worth of text. 

I submitted it to the client for review and revision, but none came. I waited and followed up, and still, no response. I had finished everything else on the project and was only waiting for this final approval in order to close it out. I sent an e-mail asking if it would be okay to invoice, but still received no reply. I admit, I was growing frustrated. So I finally sent the invoice anyway. That may have been a mistake. Again, I waited and then sent another e-mail asking when I could expect payment. Nothing. So I finally re-sent the invoice, politely asked about payment and copied the e-mail to her boss. That probably was a mistake for sure. But it got a response.

She apologized for not getting back to me, citing vacation and other things that had put her behind. Then said her only issue with the copy I had created for the new page was that it was mostly copy and paste of existing content and did not have much new information. I was therefore to adjust my invoice accordingly and she would process payment.

Well, duh! I’m not Houdini. If my source doesn’t have anything new to add, it’s a bit hard to create copy from thin air. But I never had an opportunity to discuss any of that with her or address the content since she never responded. And what does “adjust my invoice accordingly” mean? I cut it to half of what we had agreed on for that page and re-sent it with an apology and an explanation that I had done the best I could with what I had to work with. I guess it was acceptable. I was paid promptly. Have a similar story or an opinion? Let’s hear it.

My professional bread and butter work is freelance copywriting, but I’ve also enjoyed writing and directing a variety of comedy dramas for my local church in a volunteer capacity for many years. It mostly involves comedy skits that are used as part of the church worship service to illustrate or support a particular theme or sermon. But it also includes scripts for children’s church and youth events. Although most of the drama I’ve created is skit material, I’ve also written and directed longer comedies for special church related services and events. I’ve compiled a number of these dramas on my website and I’m offering them for a nominal fee through PayPal. You can read a summary and an excerpt from each script before purchasing. To check it out, visit: http://www.chiptudor.com/drama.html.

As a freelance copywriter, the writing part of an assignment is only one aspect of your business. You also have to market yourself to land the job and collect payment when it’s complete. Attention to customer service is the glue that holds everything together and facilitates a smooth, trouble-free process. Here are 3 tips to make sure your customer service is exceptional. 

Communicate clearly 

Making assumptions is a recipe for disaster. It is probably the main cause of miscommunication and the subsequent problems between you and a client. You assume they know your price only includes 3 drafts. They assume your price includes as many drafts as needed to complete the job. If this is not communicated clearly in advance and a 4^th draft is necessary, it presents an awkward moment.   

Some writers use a contract. This is the ultimate method of communication and form of legal protection. It’s also an administrative headache that slows down the process. I’ve managed to survive without it. I do however, write a paragraph that outlines the scope of the project along with my quoted price and send it by e-mail before I begin. And I ask the client to respond back their acceptance. I keep both a printed hard copy and store the e-mail electronically. 

Establish a deadline 

Some clients already have a deadline in mind. Some don’t. But every freelance writer I know is used to working by deadlines. If your client doesn’t give you a deadline, set one yourself. It keeps you focused and productive. It suggests to the client that you take an industrious, business-like approach to your work. And it discourages you from indulging in other distractions that are not so productive like socializing on Facebook or over indulging in NCAA March madness basketball games.  

Follow-up Promptly 

Clients may set a deadline for you and then procrastinate themselves. You sacrifice sleep to make the deadline and then the copy ends up at the bottom of a pile on their desk. Irritating, I know, but it happens. So if I haven’t heard anything yet, I follow-up with a client after a few days by asking them for feedback on the copy I sent. If they are procrastinating, this prods them into action. But be gracious and understanding in how you communicate with them (even though you’re grinding your teeth). The more comfortable they feel with you, the more likely they are to offer more work. You can always drop them as a client later once you have others you like better. 

When the job is complete and I’ve sent an invoice, I usually wait about 2 weeks and then ask about payment. Although 30 business days is standard, many clients will pay you sooner when you ask. And if not, the advanced notice encourages them to pay on time according to standard business practice. Consistent follow-up helps you keep the job moving (which you have to do to keep invoices moving) and clients often appreciate the fact that you help them stay on track too. By following up, you present yourself as a professional and demonstrate the fact that you care about completing an assignment to the customer’s satisfaction. And when you keep your end of the bargain, they are more likely to reciprocate. 

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the internet buzz word of the day. It has to do with the various manipulations by which you achieve the highest ranking in search engine results. In other words, when someone conducts a Google search and types in words related to your business, your name comes up on the first page. A daunting task when you consider there thousands of companies all competing for the top position. And many companies spend thousands of dollars to get there. 

Is there any hope for you? Read on for the answer. 

Experts I talk to say there are 2 sides to search engine optimization. The first is the technical side. It involves algorithms, Meta tags and other back-end IT programming features that make your website friendly to search engines spiders. This I know nothing about.  

The other side has to do with content writing. The goal here is to position certain keywords related to your business within your written content. This text is also searched by the spiders that grab your keywords and assign you a ranking. Writing content I do know something about. I decided to prove it.  

I wrote an seo article titled: Comedy copywriting—funny or not here I come and submitted it to several online article directories. My bio and website link appear at the bottom of the article so that a reader can follow it back to my site. You’re required to follow certain guidelines so there’s an editorial review that your article must pass before it’s actually listed on the directory. After a few days I received notification from one directory that my article had been approved and was posted online. A few days later a second directory notified me the article was posted on their directory as well. 

It was very satisfying to visit the sites and see the article online. But then came the real test. How well would it rank in search engine results when I typed in certain keywords? I typed the words “copywriter, humor” in a Google search. My article came up as #15 on page 2. Hey, not bad I thought. I then typed in “copywriter, comedy” and my jaw nearly hit the floor. My article was #1! I could hardly believe it. I kept repeating the search with the same results.   A few days later, my ranking on “copywriter, humor” searched was bumped down to #17 but “copywriter, comedy” still held #1. Then I received notification from a third article directory that they too had published the article. So I checked it again this morning. At the time of this writing, when you type in the keywords “copywriter, humor” the article ranks #5 on page one of a Google search. On a search of “copywriter, comedy” the article ranks #1, #2 and #3 in consecutive listings. 

Does that answer your question?

In marketing my freelance copywriting business, I communicate regularly with clients and potential clients through various professional online networks, social media channels and e-mail. I’d rather meet with people over a cup of coffee. It would be much less complicated. Because it’s easy to misconstrue a text message. So I’m careful about how and what I write. 

Most people I encounter respond in a professional manner. Some lean towards brusque and others friendly and personal. But there are always a few that respond in a vulgar, personal attack.

I just don’t get it.

What possible benefit do you gain by directing profane language towards another person who is merely trying to make an honest living? Maybe some perverted sense of superiority? Those of you schooled in psychoanalysis can play around with that idea. Although my immediate reaction is to angrily lash back, I know this is pointless. Whatever drives someone like that is deeper and darker than what any response I make will cure.

Those schooled in psychoanalysis are nodding their heads.

Instead, I ignore the vulgar, profane response and move on. Maybe I should be grateful. Would I really want to work with someone like that? Uh…no. And since they never sign their name, I take comfort in knowing they are cowards that hide behind anonymity. Their vulgar profanity, however, still stings. Words do that despite the old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Therefore, I resolve to communicate in a forthright manner and to be as human and friendly as possible. Even offer words of encouragement. Times are discouraging enough. And we could all use a good word. Might as well start with me.