Armor of God

Theme: Christians prepare for spiritual battle by wearing the armor of God. (Ephesians 6:11-17)

Characters: 2 actors, male or female
Length: 2.5 – 3 minutes
Scene/Props: Tin foil that is shaped into a helmet, a breastplate, sword and shield.

Synopsis:
In this funny man, straight man routine, Melvin wears armor that he has fashioned out of tin foil. The straight man helps him understand that the scripture passage in Ephesians 6:11-17 is talking about a spiritual battle, not a physical one.

Note: We used the Minister of Music as the straight man, but it could be anyone.

Excerpt:
Melvin ENTERS wearing tin foil that is an obvious, home-made job. He practices fighting an imaginary enemy. The straight man watches, patiently waiting for him to pause.

Minister: Melvin, I’m afraid to ask what the purpose is for that get-up, so let me guess. You’re preserving your rugged good looks.

Melvin: (poses proudly) Ageless beauty needs no assistance.

Minister: Uh, you’re filming your own science fiction B movie. (Melvin shakes his head with a sense of smug, self-assurance) C movie. C-. This is a passing grade, right?

Melvin: I’m preparing for battle.

Minister: Okay, that would be my very last guess. (inspects the tin foil) Well, you obviously spared no expense in preparation. Is this for a reality T.V. chef cooking show?

Melvin: It’s for the forces of evil.

Minister: That head chef can be a pretty evil character all right. Maybe that’s why the show isn’t called heaven’s kitchen. So, did you leave any tin foil for the left-overs?

Melvin: This doesn’t have anything to do with cooking. I learned in a Bible Study that when you encounter the forces of evil, you need to wear armor. So I’m armed, dangerous and ready to engage.

Minister: I’d say you’re wearing enough to foil most attacks. All you need now is some Tupperware.

All in the Family

Theme: God does not condemn us so we should not condemn one another. (Rom. 8:1-4)

Length: 6-7 minutes
Characters: Archie, Edith, Mike, Gloria
Scene/Props: The Bunker Home. Lunchbox, Overcoat, Hat, gloves, scarf, stove, game of scrabble, coat rack, Archie’s chair, kitchen table & chairs, dictionary, coffee mug, remote control, pile of laundry, T.V. set, slippers, set of keys.

Synopsis: In this take-off of the hit 70s TV show, Archie is his usual, hypocritical, racist self who rants against everyone and everything who doesn’t think his way. But in the ending of this version, Edith finally gets the last word.

Excerpt:

LIGHTS UP

To the Bunker home where there is a kitchen table, coat rack, and Archie’s chair and T.V. MIKE and GLORIA play scrabble at the kitchen table. Edith enters and begins setting the table and also putting on dinner.

GLORIA: Scuzzy. That’s…(figuring points)

MIKE: Scuzzy? Wait a minute, Gloria, that’s slang, it’s not a real word.

GLORIA: Mike, you said if it’s in the dictionary, it’s a word.

MIKE: We’ll see about that. (thumbs through dictionary)

EDITH: It’s almost dinner time and Archie ain’t home yet. I’m gettin worried.

GLORIA: Ma, the traffic report said everything was moving slow.

MIKE: That’s right, some people are getting home an hour later than usual. I wouldn’t expect him soon.

EDITH: An hour? Oh dear, dinner will be cold, and Archie hates a cold dinner. I better keep things in the oven. (starts putting things back)

(ARCHIE ENTERS. He’s wearing boots, an overcoat, hat, gloves, scarf, and carries a lunchbox. He stamps his feet, removes clothes and hangs them up on the rack.)

ARCHIE: Jeesh, a little snow and idiot drivers come out of the woodwork.

MIKE: Two feet accumulation is more than a little, Arch. They closed the university because of it.

A Standing Offer

A Standing Offer


Theme: God’s offer of grace is a standing offer. (Romans 6:12-14)

Length: 3-4 minutes
Characters: Mark & Janet Campbell
Scene/Props: A kitchen with table and chairs. You also need a portable phone, a laundry basket full of clothes, a notepad and pen, stapler, paper clips and whiteout.

Synopsis: Recently laid off of work, Mark calls his contacts in search of a new a new job. But the market is tough and the outlook grim. When all seems hopeless he finally returns to the standing offer made years ago by his father to join the family business.

Excerpt:

(LIGHTS UP on MARK who paces near the table, speaking on the phone. He is driven by a sense of frustration and urgency, but puts on an outward appearance of congeniality).

MARK: Greg, how’s it going? Mark Campbell. Heard the news, huh? Yeah, thanks. Not bad. I’m putting out feelers right now…shaking a few trees…you know. I’ve got some leads. No, I’m fine. Really. Say, what’s the hiring outlook for your company? Yeah. I see. No, I understand, it’s okay. If anything changes, give me a call. Sure, you too. Okay. Bye.

(He hangs up the phone, sits at the table with a worried frown and scribbles on a pad of paper. His wife, JANET, enters with a laundry basket of clothes. She drops the basket on the table and starts to fold.)

JANET: Any luck?

(Mark looks up, sighs, leans back in the chair and stretches.)

MARK: Absolutely. Anytime half your prospects aren’t in meetings you’re doing great. Sure seems different sitting on this end of the phone line.

(Janet pulls a large sweatshirt out of the basket and stretches it out by the arms.)

JANET: I bought this sweatshirt six months ago and Kevin, our teenage son with the incredible appetite, is already outgrowing it. I’m at grocery store so often they all know my first name.

MARK: See if they’ll hire you.

JANET: I spend even more time chauffeuring kids around so I was thinking of going for a taxi driver. They get tips.