A Humorous Scene From The Detective Novel Soul Pursuit

Looking for a quick, humorous book to read? I think you’ll find that my detective novel, Soul Pursuit is fast-paced, entertaining and inspirational. Here’s a funny scene from one of the chapters to grab your interest. Check out the five-star reviews on amazon then buy a copy and enjoy reading it yourself.

An Excerpt From Chapter 22 in the Detective Novel Soul Pursuit

      Warren looked at Terrence and Jeff with an admonishing frown.

     “If you two are finished with your teasing and home spun philosophizing, can we get back to our discussion on the deity of Christ? How can Jesus be fully God and fully man at the same time?”

     “Don’t think we’re supposed to understand it,” said Terrance. “It’s what you call a…uh…a…”

     “Paradox,” finished Jeff.

     “Yeah. I mean, Jesus was a real person. He experienced everything we do. What do you think, Jack?” asked Terrence.

     I knew he was trying to pull me in, to engage me in a spiritual discussion. But I wasn’t going there. I gave a non-committal shrug.

     “Not religious.”

     “But you have an opinion. A worldview. We all do.”

     “This is a safe place to explore scripture and ask questions,” said Warren. “We’re all on a spiritual journey and none of us have it all figured out.”

     “Okay, since you’re talking about real people, I do have one question weighing on my mind,” I said.

     Warren smiled encouragingly, the paternal, spiritual father encouraging a toddler to take his first spiritual, baby step.

     “Ask away.”

     “Did Jesus fart?”

     Warren’s smile crumpled into a look of shock at such sacrilege. Terrance was in mid-drink of coffee and blew it through his nose as he laughed. Jeff smiled, uncertain where the conversation was headed, but ready to go with the flow. 

     “What?”

     It caught Warren completely off guard and the spiritual confidence that had marked his face dissolved into one of holy terror. It was nice watching someone else squirm for a change so I pressed forward.

     “Did Jesus fart? You know, pass gas, cut the cheese, play the posterior trumpet.”

     Warren’s face grew a deep red.

     “I…I…don’t see the relevance in that question.”

     “Terrence just said Jesus was fully God and man. And he shared all our experiences. If so, shouldn’t he break wind like everyone else? And by the way, if Jesus was perfect, what would a perfect fart sound like? Or smell like? Don’t give me a churchy, idealized version of God. You say he’s real. I want to know how real.”

     “Jesus was real in every sense of the word. But this level of vulgarity is not germane to our spiritual discussion.”

     Warren was visibly struggling and reverting to obfuscation to cover his discomfort.

      I smiled innocently and shrugged.

     “Why not?”

     “Wait a minute,” said Terrance. 

     He was trying to control his laughter and wiping snot globs of coffee from the table.

     “I think Jack has a legitimate point. I mean, we do talk about the humanity of Jesus, don’t we?”

     Warren’s look of discomfort turned to horror. His friend was turning against him.

     “Yes, but—“

     “Well, if he’s the God who created smell in the first place, I’d think he could go either way,” said Jeff.

     “Meaning?” asked Terrence.

     “Raunchy or sweet.”

     “A loud blast or silent but deadly?” I added.

     I was warming up to the exchange. Crass conversation was in my wheelhouse. Maybe I could get into this accountability thing after all. Terrance had another thought and almost spit out a mouthful of donuts in his haste to share it.

     “Hey, maybe that’s part of the story we missed in the Bible. You know, when Jesus cleared the temple?”

     “A holy of holy farts,” said Jeff. “Awesome in power and mighty to scatter away.”

     Jeff and Terrence were both now laughing so hard they were slapping the table and wiping tears from their eyes. I joined them along with people in nearby booths who had no idea what was funny, but laughed because the laughter was infectious.

     Warren, however was appalled at such blasphemous talk.

     “This conversation shows an incredible lack of reverence for God. It’s…it’s undignified.”

     “Maybe,” said Terrance. “But if Jesus could control the smell, what does that say about election and free will?”

     “And the trinity?” added Jeff. “An Omnipotent fart to the power of three might evaporate the universe.”

     Warren was self-righteously indignant. He closed his Bible and gathered his notes.

     “This Bible Study has downgraded to obnoxious and is effectively concluded.”

     “Okay,” said Terrance. “Then I have a parting thought.”

     We waited expectantly as he stood and smiled.

     “Oh, man. SBD bomb!”

     With no further discussion we all left.

About:

Chip Tudor is a freelance copywriter, published author, playwright and pastor. He publishes drama at www.chiptudor.com, books on Amazon.com, and articles on his blog.

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